cigarettes and white boys

So there's this opening line of one of Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's poems that talks about giving up cigarettes and white boys for New Year's because they were the same thing. Come to think of it, they really are. I've "quit" them. Unless I'm drunk, to which they don't count. And getting involved with them is harmful to the body. Only difference is they don't make a patch for white boys.

Speaking of things we try to quit, going cold turkey off of celebrity gossip sites is Operation Fail. I still cheat by typing the site into google (so it doesn't end up as one of the bookmarked pages). Worst yet (and ironically so), I can't seem to stay away from Jonas Brothers related news (who also happen to be a band of white boys) because let's face it, they are impeccably dressed young men that don't entirely fail in the looks department. Also, I am obsessed with chronicling the downfalls of each and every rising Disney channel star (note: Vanessa Hudgen's nudie pics scandal, Lindsay Lohan's self-explanatory, and Miley Cyrus' eventual decline to Britney status). This is what happens when you force teens into peachy clean images. Their sex tapes get circulated on the world wide web and K-Fed gets custody of their children.

Anyhoos, I will be out and about this week! Yeah! How's that for a change of routine? I smell friend oreos, sun burns, and drunken glorious nights galore!

[Update]

I just had a dream that Jamie Lynn Spears is refusing an interview with Perez Hilton because she was furious with the way he portrayed her in his blog. This is absurd. I'm never reading celebrity gossip ever again.

Also, wrote "friend oreos" as opposed to "fried oreos" and am now intrigued (also leaving it as is). "Friend oreos" make me think of three friends snuggling in a glass of milk. Cute or disturbing. You tell me.