on privacy, why blog, and it

Yes, I had to go back to delete a couple of entries.

The decision to blog, and keep the blog open (anyone free to comment, search engine-able, etc.) goes with being liable to the content of the page- even during those 5 am rant session moments. Whether I am cussing out a stranger or declaring my love for one, I realize that those that I don't mind reading this probably aren't reading this. And those that I don't want reading this probably are. I don't know what it is about blogging that is so simultaneously liberating and dangerous at the same time. It's not exactly anonymous now. You know who I am. I guess it's the fact that most people aren't going to come up to me and say, "So I read on your blog that you're on your period this week" or "So... having mother issues again, are we? Read it on your blog". That's kinda creepy. But then I have to ask myself why that is- I mean, I'm putting it out there. Which means that I do expect people to stumble upon this eventually. So why would it be creepy if someone I know offhandedly remarks about some portion of its content? (Note: that person being someone familiar- not some random stranger)

Anyway, this is to me checking myself. I allow this to be a space for crazy ventilation, contemplation, and god knows what else I can conjure. And now that it's out there, I should come to expect whatever. Which means going back and deleting some gut-wrenchingly brings-your-cheeks-to-flush entries. Because some things, some people don't need to know. The facts about my menstrual cycle however, stays. Why? Because I said so.

I am back from China and Thailand. I don't shower regularly but I smell like I do. My hair has grown out (awkwardly). I am three shades darker. I am (still) without my own computer. I am currently unemployed. I am reading Patrick Rosal's My American Kundiman, and astonished. I hope you are all having a complicated but fulfilling summer. Except if you are a horrible person- then I hope your summer is flat as an aluminum can at a recycling plant.